My last journal entry was written out of frustration and i have come to find hardly any truth in it either, but rather an attempt at pragmatism, which love doesn't follow. yes i have trouble communicating in words, but i should more than make up for i...Read More

I went last year for the first time and so hope to go again this year!!  It is sooo much fun and I highly recommend it!  :)   Hugs,  j    Read More

I have been here and there looking for a woman for a serious relationship, and found one, but i fell into traps of what i thought women wanted because i wanted to find my soulmate and be who I am around her, but truth is that you can only give yourself...Read More

I had my cardiologist appointment and was cleared for surgery. On August 17th I will head to Montreal, and have my surgery on August 20th.   .I lived 49 years trying to be good to everyone but the one person that truly matters - myself. It was ...Read More

where am I heading. i was doing so well. i was happy, i felt like i needed nothing else except for the love of a woman, but i am not so sure there is love on that other side anymore. what i feel now is hallow. the door has been shut in my face by someo...Read More

2 months until surgery. I went and bought three cute dresses yesterday because I will need some loose fitting clothes during my recovery period, no tight fitting spandex for awhile.   Since my ekg was "abnormal", the surgeon wants me to go see a...Read More

Does anyone know, do we see spirits and ghosts first, or hear them?  I know that lightening we see first, then hear, but that has to do with the difference between the speeds of light and of sound.  But with spirits, both their sight and soun...Read More

i am enjoying the temporary increase of work hours available at my current job. i find that i cannot do enough in the day when i am working at a fulltime pace, and time seems to pass faster, but then again i do not get out as much and relax should this...Read More

I don't know where I am, but i feel like i have taken a couple of steps back and more forward in another direction entirely. I am starting to think wiser now; well actually starting to think forward more precisely. i have stopped drinking for what seem...Read More

I had my pre-surgery tests on June 14th. The doctor said my ekg was abnormal, whatever that means. She wasn't going to worry about it, so I guess that is a good sign.   I am 2 months away from surgery in Montreal.Read More

Just pondering it... is there anythng better?    Hugs, jRead More

If your in/near San Francisco, this might be worthwhile.  A documentary about Jennifer Leitham.  I think she's a great musician.     http://ticketing.frameline.org/festival/film/detail.aspx?id=2608&fid=49 Take ca...Read More

This is something that I wrote for Facebook, thought I might share with everyone here...maybe for those who are struggling with family, it will give them some encouragement.   Being a transsexual, I, like others in the LGBT community, we have an...Read More

QUOTE OF THE DAY: I do not understand why some people think that having a gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered child means they failed as a parent.You want to know what REALLY means you failed as a parent? - Disowning your child means you failed as ...Read More

Maybe I've hit my genetic limit at a 37' bust. The puraria murifica and saw palmetto stopped providing the right hormonal feeling after a couple of weeks of maximum dose. So now I'm going to stop and see how much I can lose from my waistline. I'm usin...Read More

I received all my paperwork for my August surgery today. I will read all of this tonight, I need to initial a couple of items and mail a couple of things back. Less than 4 months to go and I will be in Montreal for gender affirmation surgery.Read More

A movie worth watching, in my opinion. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=njSV5LtVmR4&feature=player_embedded   Read More

Update, I've been hovering at 170 last few weeks.  I notice definite loss of tummy fat, and an increased lightness of being.  I feel better about myself.  Someone asked about my BMI; I had to look up that's it's Body Mass Indicator - a s...Read More

I've, for a very long time, studied and transcribed, basically, straight ahead jazz saxophonists, like Sonny Stitt and Coltrane.  I've been trying to listen outside my "box" for a few years.  Thought this was beautiful.   http://www...Read More

Still on my quest to go out fully dressed, bought a new purse the other day thinking I need all the accessories to pull this off!  Now I just need a few more 'casual' outfits and I'll be set.  Still need to find the time to work on my make-up...Read More

Busy taking pills and massaging to get my breasts growing again. I hope to add another inch to my bust and that will hit my genetic limit. I'll go bra and wig shopping in May and post some new pictures.Read More

Ocasionally girls will tell me that I am living their dream, some times a dream should stay a dream, because when it becomes real, then all that is left is real life in all its beauty as well as the harshness of reality.Read More

Rolling Thunder (Shoshone Invocation) Lyrics: Rolling ThunderMusic: [Hart]A spoken introduction to Mickey Hart's first solo LP, with minimal instrumental accompaniment. To the east, where the sun riseTo the north, where the cold comes fromT...Read More

These people/this person, and entities like them are responsible for crimes against humanity here and around the world.  Scott Lively, Abiding Truth Ministries, Focus on Family, FRC need to go. (In my opinion) This is a great start. "Sexual Minori...Read More